The Trip to the Graveyard
by saphire-ethrin
Summary: Ron and Harry are having a wonderful day in New York don't worry they are there for Bill and Fleur's wedding. Everyhting is fine unti they get transfered to the graveyard... a very familier graveyard. What happenes in the graveyard is hystarical, so enjoy
1. Chapter 1

**Hihi! Erm...ok, this story is for humor. And the character ARE NO BASED ON THE REAL ONES. I made them a 'little' goofy so...enjoy!**

Harry and Ron were walking through the cool air of New York City. Bill and Fleur just got married and came here for their Honeymoon. So everybody else said, "Sure, why not? Let's go with them! It should be fun staying in a hotel in the muggle world!"

Hermione and Ginny were shopping with a reluctant Mr. Weasley, and a happy Mrs. Weasley while Ron and Harry decided to take a stroll by their surroundings, that is if they knew where they were going…

"Erm, Ron where are we going?" asked Harry.

"I thought you knew…I don't know…ooooooo, let's go to the park. There's bound to be something there!"

"Yeah only one problem. We don't know where it is!"

"Well, let's go this way."

"Alright...hang on, you telling me where to go. Ron, you do realize that you have a REALLY bad sense of direction?"

"Oh come on…we were going to the Burrow and we ended up in someone else's living room. That was only once… at least the lady was kind enough to give us cookies! Now come on!"

Harry followed Ron. True, he was suppose to be the brave one but Ron pointing out directions? You needed to be very brave for that, because you never know where you will land up. For all you know you can be in your father's sister's cousin's sister's brother's grandma's brother's father's living room…you get what I mean….

"Hey what's that?"

"What's what?"

"That thing in the grass…" said Ron picking up a silver locket. Harry recognized it immediately. "Ron, NO!"

But it was to late. It was Slytherin's locket that Ron picked up, and they were being transferred to…A GRAVYARD! Hoy…Harry has been in the same graveyard too many times now…

"Hello Harry," said a cold voice.


	2. Chapter 2

Harry turned around, praying that it wasn't who he thought it was, but unfortunately it was who he thought it was because that someone was thinking the same thing that Harry was hoping that is wasn't that someone who was seeing Harry's face filled with dread and fear. Or in plain and simple words it was Lord Voldemort and Harry wasn't happy to see him.

"Hello Voldy."

"How many times do I have to tell you not to call me Voldy?"

"Atleast once more."

"Harry why are you so difficult?"

"Pssshhhhh, me difficult? Who is the one who wants to…wait what do you want to do? You're not exactly taking over the world. You wanted revenge because of your…father and he is dead. SO what do you want now?"

"Uh…that a good question."

Ron who was listening to the conversation was completely confused. Why…what…what are they thinking! Then he heard a snap.

"What the bloody hell are you doing! Wait, what the bloody hell did you do!" Voldemort screamed.

"I broke you wand into 2 pieces?" said Harry causally.

"Hey, hey, hey that's not fair. You have a wand and I don't!"

"Fine we'll have a fist fight."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"FINE!"

"FINE! I GET IT! WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP AND KILL EACH OTHER ALREADY?" screamed Ron.

"Fine…"

Then the fight had begun. It was really weird, the last fight between Harry and Voldemort was suppose to be a bit more…uh, magical. Both of them kicked and punched each other really hard while Ron cheered on Harry. After an hour, an unfortunate thing happened. Voldemort stabbed Harry in the stomach with a sharp…twig? Anyway, yeah. Harry had just about 15 minutes to live.

"Oh no!" said Ron. "Someone call for help!"

"Oh. No. Help. He is dying. Come. Save. Him. Oh. No." said Voldemort.

"Ron," said Harry. "Call 9-1-1…"

"Call what?"

"9-1-1!"

"Okkkkkkkk. With what?"

"Here," said Harry throwing Ron his cell phone.

Ron dialed the number…nothing happened. "Uh Harry, I don't think this celly phone works."

"Phooey! I hate T-Mobil! It just had to go out of service now! Stupid. Piece. Of. Useless. Junk!"

"Voldy, do you have a celly phone?" asked Ron.

"OK. First of all. STOP CALLING ME VOLDY! Second of all, yes I do. And because there is no hope of Harry living, here…" said Voldemort giving the cellphone to Ron.

"Hey, it has service!" said Ron. "What do you have?"

"Cingular."

"Right…hey how does this thing work? I thought you needed that long cord thingi and—

"Ron it's a cellphone!" screamed Harry.

"Oh…ok." Ron dialed. "Hello operator? I need the number for 9-1-1!…whatever that is…"

"Um, 9-1-1?" said the voice.

"Yes, 9-1-1! Now tell me the number!"

"9-1-1!"

"Oh…who would have thought of that?"


	3. Chapter 3

Ron dialed the three not-so-obvious numbers.

"Hello?"

"Yes, um there is a dying person here…oh, he got stabbed with a twig. Yes, a twig!...ok, 5 minutes? 50? 500! WHAT!" screamed Ron. "Uh, Harry they are going to be here in a…uh, while."

"Ok, that means they're too busy. Ron, get me a paper and a pencil," said Harry. Ron got a paper and a pencil.

"I, ow, Harry, ow, James, ow, Potter, ow, herby, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…" said Harry. He didn't move at all. It was like he was dead…oh, I'm sorry he _was _dead.

"Harry?" said Ron. He tapped him…then slapped him…then punched him, then kicked him. After what seemed like hours (when it was really 6 minutes and 13 seconds) Ron realized he was dead.

"NO! Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" screamed Ron. "Why Voldy why?"

Voldemort looked like he would like nothing more then to slap Ron with a fish…or with his own hand. He sighed, boy was this is getting boring.

"I'm gonna kill you!" screamed Ron. He jumped at Voldy- ahem, I mean Voldemort and pretty soon they were on the floor trying to kill each other.

Then Ron remembered…he had a wand. He took it out and he did something that any other smart wizard would have done to kill a bad person, he…

He…

He…

He…

He…

He…

He…

He…

He…

He…

He…

He…

He…

He…

He…

He…

He…

He…

He…

He…

He…

He…

He…

He…

He…

He…stabbed Voldemort in the eye!

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Voldemort screamed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for the review guyz! Sry it took so long to update...my internet was being erm...fistey...hehe... **

Harry didn't know what…or where he was going…then before he knew it he was on a soft, fluffy…white…yeah, and some other nice adjectives…cloud. He got up and looked around. Was he dead? He asked himself. The last thing he remembered was writing his will. Darn! He thought.

While he was standing there trying to make sense, there was a sudden zooming sound. He looked around. It was a…flying car. But this one wasn't old and beaten up like the Weasley's car. It was actually very nice.

"Hello!" said a cheerful voice popping out of the window. He had curly golden hair, and bright blue eyes. He looked exactly like cupid.

"Allow me to introduce my self, I'm cupid!"

"Oh hi…wait, what!" asked Harry.

"Cupid…oh I'm just filling in don't worry I don't do this job regularly."

"Am I dead?"

"Of course, or else how'd you be on a cloud?" said Cupid, manifestly. "Anyway, I have to receive Old Jikkens in 10 minutes…so name?"

"Who…me?"

"Duh."

"Oh, uh…berry…no, no…larry…no wait……harry…yeah! Harry Potter."

"Oh so you're the one! You know I—erm, wait let me get down to business or else I'll get fired. Ok, how did you die?" asked Cupid drinking something…erm…water from a bottle.

"Uh…I got poked by a twig…"

Cupid immediately started choking. His face turned red, and he couldn't stop laughing.

"The famous Harry Potter…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! DIED BY—BY GETTING POKED BY A TWIG! OH MY GOD!"

After several minutes, he finally calmed down.

"Sorry, I'm so sorry but I just couldn't help it…ahem, ok so where would you like to go?" asked Cupid. His face was still very red from laughing.

"Erm…go?"

"Yeah, do you want to go where normal British people go, wizard people go, Indian people go, troll's, zebra's, centaur's, Chinese, Spanish, Italian, Indones—"

"Uh, there are places for each race?"

"Well, there is another place where people who don't want to be with their own race…haven."

"Really, then where am I?"

"Um, no where. Now will you hurry up? I have a meeting in 4 minutes!"

"Uh, how about where normal wizard people go?"

"Okay, kid hop on."

Harry hopped on (not like a rabbit hop) the car and fastened his seatbelt. This was going to be a long ride, he thought. Then, before Harry knew where he was going the car started. It was going even faster than the knight bus.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, slllllloooowwwwww doooowwwwnnnnnn!" screamed Harry. About a minute (it felt like hours though) later they abruptly stopped.

"All right. Here we go!" said Cupid. "Now, you will be in the office of the dead, they are just going to tell you to fill out some forms (of the dead) and then you have to talk with the council (of the dead) and if they think you're worthy then you will live, erm, sry I mean go where ever you want and if they don't (which means you acted like a complete idiot) then you go to hell. Got it? It's pretty simple."

Harry's face looked like this was far from simple. "Um, uh, wait i—"

"Sorry kid, I gotta run. Bye!"

Then, without warning, Harry fell through his seat. It was harrowing. He landed on a hard floor.

"Hello, how may I help you?" asked an old lady in front of him.

"Oh my god," Harry breathed.

"I'm alive, well no I'm not. But I'm not dead twice. Wait is that even possible? But I'm dead so it really doesn't matter—" Harry was continuing to talk to himself until he realized the lady looking at him like he was on crack, or worse…sugar. Oh wait no drugs when you're dead, sorry!

Meanwhile Ron…wellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll,

Voldemort's eye was killing him, Ron stood there looking at what he had just done. He poked Voldemort in the eye….the eye!

"Owwwwwwww, why did you poke me in the eye!" asked Voldemort.

"Um…well, let's see. You killed harry, and his parents, and sirus, and Dumbledore, and—"

"Alright, alright! I get your point…"said Voldemort. The sad thing was Voldemort had…what…uh…5? Sure, 5 minutes to live…

"Ron since I have 5 minutes to live, can you call 9-1-1?"

Ron took his time thinking about this. He didn't want to charged of Voldemort's death for heaven sake, he was a Weasley! So why not?

"Hello?" said Ron. "Can I have the number to 9-1-1?"

A distinct face palm was heard from Voldemort in the background.

"Yes I'm the same idiot who called! Hello? Hellllloooooo?" screamed Ron.

"Geez!" Ron finally dialed 9-1-1.

"Hello? 9-1-1? Yes, we have another dying person here! Ummmmm, hehe he got poked by a wand…hello?" said Ron.

"You're hopeless…" said Voldemort. "Do me a favor and get me a paper and pencil…"


	5. Chapter 5

Ron tried to find a paper and pencil…it wasn't easy. Try finding a paper in the middle of a graveyard.

"Will, you hurry up? I'm dying here!"

"So ungrateful," muttered Ron. "O-O-O I found one!"

"Gimme!" screamed Voldemort.

"Say the magic word," said Ron.

"Avada Kedavra?"

"No."

"Potter?"

"No."

"Mickey Mouse?"

"No..."

"Gellon?"

"No."

"Pizza?"

"Lactose intolerant…no."

"Can you give me a hint?"

"And you say I'm hopeless? It starts with a 'p'"

"Peanuts?"

"No."

"Penny?"

"What's that? Um, no."

Their guessing game continued, while Harry back on…uh what nowhere yet? Oh wait, right um in the office of the fed—dead! Sorry…

"Yes?" asked the lady, looking really bored.

"Um, I just died and I'm completely confused…"

"Did the person who picked you up explain the procedures?"

"Yes…," _Barely…,_thought Harry.

"Well then here," she said. The lady reached under her desk and took out a thick packet of paper (or parchment)…then other…then another…then another…then another…then another…then another…then another…then another…then lots more. She handed him a quill and some ink. Harry gulped, he wasn't going to do all this was he?

"You have to fill all these out," said the lady. Harry groaned.

"Do I have to?"

The lady looked at him with an odd expression.

"Yes," said the lady. "Unless you'd like a ticket to hell…"

"No, no I'm good." Replied Harry quickly. He took the stack of paper and looked around for a place to fill them all out. He then realized how the office looked. It was huge, with a large chandelier hovering over his head. The floor was all made of marble, it was very shiny. The broad windows welcomed in the sunlight.

There were little creatures walking all around him, they were as short as the goblin at Gringotts which was a wizarding bank. Goblin were however mean looking, these creatures were looked like they had a very nice disposition. They had wings, and had very, very light skin. What were they? Angels perhaps?

Then Harry noticed the long brown shelves with books, and there were desks lined in front of them. Harry carried himself and the stack of papers to the nearest table. He looked at the first question. (Note: everything in _italic _is what Harry thinks, but there is no guarantee that that is what he exactly wrote so yeah…)

1. Name? Harry Potter.

2. Address? He put the Dursley's address.

3. Cause of death? _Uh, Voldy, wait no Voldemort, no dark lord, no, no Tom Marvolo Riddle…yeah that's the one! Wait…or is it you-know-who? Hang on…u-no-poo? _

4. How exactly you died. _Poked by a twig._

5. Favorite color? _Uh, blue_.

6. Favorite food? Pizza, good thing he wasn't lactose intolerant like Ron.

7. Favorite place to live? With the Weasly's.

8. Color of shirt right now? Uh, odd question but brown.

9. If you had one wish what would it be? _Oh god_, though Harry. _Kill me now, oh wait I'm already dead… _

10. What is the quadratic formula? _Wha?_

Harry continued answering the odd questions while Ron……………………………..

"Pig?"

"…no." It had been over an hour (uh, 2 minutes and 48 seconds)… Voldemort still couldn't get the magical word.

"Chiwawa?"

"Does that start with a 'p'?"

"Pepper?"

"You're a moron!" said Ron.

"Jerk!" said Voldemort.

"Nitwit!"

"Twit!"

"Big vegetable!"

"Papaya!"

"Banana!"

"Apple!"

"Hey, I like apples!" said Ron.

"Owwwwwwwwww, get me that paper and that pencil!"

"Magical word, please."

"I don't know!"

"It's please you moron!"

"Oh…please?"

"Okay, here." Ron gave Voldemort the paper and pencil.

"Now what do you say?" asked Ron.

"Erm…thanks?"

"Good boy!"

"I, ow, Voldy, arrgh, see now you have me saying it, Ow, Voldemort, no, dark lord, no, Tom Marvolo Riddle, no You-know-Who, no, wait owwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Ahh, I don't know what to give…I have nothing."

"Alright, I'll give you one last wish…" said Ron.

"Alright then…my last wish is…can you call me by my name?"

"Uh which one? Voldy, or Voldemort, or dark Lord, or tom Marvolo Riddle, or wait there is more?...oh yeah! You-Know-Who orrrrrr…erm…what was that again? Oh yeah! U-no-poo?"

"VOLDEMORT!"

"Oh well, ok…v-v-v-v-vvvvvvvv, arrrrrrgh I can't say it! Okay, okay…vol—vol…vul—vul—vol—vol…arragh! Alrighty I'm going to say it now…VOLDEMORT!"

But Voldy wasn't listening because that was the end of Voldy, no Voldemort, no dark lord, no Tom Marvolo Ridde, no, no wait, You-Know-who, wait no U-no-poo…I don't know! Whatever u call him!

Harry on the other hand was drowned with questions that had no apparent use…

945. Your dream? _To get done with these questions…_

946. Your favorite type of triangle? _…ok where are we heading now?_

947. Thing that you're going to miss the most. _Uh…my life?_

948. Most painful experience? _Answering these questions…_

949. What is your favorite dog breed? _…what the heck? _

Then on the very bottom there was a question scribbled on the bottom, it wasn't neat like the others but it was as though someone just wrote it.

950. Are you single?

Harry groaned. Harry looked over by the lady. She winked at him.

_No, I'm not._

He got up and gave the huge stack of papers to the lady, and he waited…for what you ask? I'll tell you right after this…

"Ouch!" Voldemort looked up and saw he was on top of a cloud…wait, a cloud? What was he doing here? He looked around, completely lost. Then he heard a zooming sound, he looked around. There was a car…a very pretty car and inside was a guy who looked exactly like…Hades.

"Hello," said the deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep voice. It sent chills down Voldy's back (hey he's dead he can't kill me!).

"I'm Hades,"

Voldy looked at him like he was crazy. He suddenly grabbed the man's hand and said "Oh my god! Oh my god! I'm such a big fan! You're that person form the underworld right?"

"Uh…I'm afraid," said Hades withdrawing his hands. "Anyway…name?"

"Uh…Voldy, no Voldemort, no dark lord, no Tom Marvolo Ridde, no, no wait, You-Know-who, wait no U-no-poo…Voldmort!"

"OOOOOOK…how'd ya die?"

"Got poked in the eye by a wand…"

"A wand?"

"A wand."

"A wand?"

"YES. A. WAND."

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…VOLDEMORT GOT POKED BY A WAND AND HE DIED…HHAHAHAHAHAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, okay I'm good."

And Hades basically explained everything that Cupid said to Harry, except it was a…erm, how shall I say this…_angrier_ note? (hey he rules the underworld what do u expect?)

Voldy picked the normal wizarding world, hoping he could conquer (doesn't waste a minute does he?). He dropped to the really bored witch and blah, blah, blah. He then carried the stack of papers to a table, then he saw Harry sitting impatiently.

"You!" said Voldy.

"You!" said Harry.

"What are you doing here?" they asked each other.

"Well, I died. But what are you doing here?" asked Harry.

"Ummmm, gee I'm at a place where dead people are. Why would I be here? Let's think…." Harry scowled.

"Alright…how'd you die?"

"You friend Roon, no Ron poked me in the eye…,"

"Instead of killing you with a simple spell?"

"Yup…"

"That's Ron for ya…hey you better do your questions, not that it's gonna make a difference I mean you're still going to hell…"

"How'd you know?"

Harry raised his eyebrows. "I just got done with these questions, and the lady by the counter said that the council of the dead is going to review my application and yeah…and you killed a number of innocent people so where do you think you're going to go?"

"Hmmmmmm, think I can conquer it?"

"You're hopeless."

Voldemort looked at the stack of paper in front of him and began working.

1. Name? _Not again._

2. Address?_ Uh…N/A? _

3. Cause of death? _Ronal Weasel…wait did it have a 'y' in the end?_

4. How exactly you died. _Poked by a wand_

5. Favorite color? _Uh, what is a color?_

6. Favorite food? _Snakes…I don't know!_

7. Favorite place to live? _I DON'T HAVE A HOME…._

8. Color of shirt right now? _What is a color?_

9. If you had one wish what would it be? _To kill potter…_

10. What is the quadratic formula? _Qua-who?_

11. Favorite book? _The ones you can color in…_

12. Any confessions? _Uh, hehe. I-I stole the cookies from the cookie jar!_

And Voldy was answering the questions while Ron…

"See I said it! Ha! Voldy…Voldy?" Ron poked Voldemort on the stomach, he didn't move then he found out that…he was dead.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey! I'm baack! (u: scream in terror)Thanks... anyway, fyi, I'm referring the Lady the Harry met at the counter as 'the Lady' (u: gasp)**

**Thanks Rutu for editing my previous work!**

**Oh and of coursethankyou shikon-angel32 for editing my work…and er…for not _screming_ at me…as much as I annoy you...hehe!**

"Ai! Why. Won't. He. Move." Ron was poking Voldy, and poking and poking and poking and poking and poking and poking and poking

and poking and poking and poking

and poking and poking and poking

and poking and poking and poking

and poking and poking and poking

and poking and poking and poking

and poking and poking and poking

and poking and poking and poking

and poking and poking and poking

and poking and poking and poking

and poking and poking and poking

and poking and poking and poking

and poking and poking and poking

and poking and poking and poking

and poking and poking and poking

and poking and poking and poking

and poking and poking and poking

and poking and poking and poking

and poking and poking and poking

and poking and poking and poking

and poking and poking and poking

and poking and poking and poking

and poking and poking and poking

Then Harry's cellphone started ringing.

"What? Oh so now it's in service! Hello!" Ron yelled.

"Ron?" Hermione's voice was faint.

"HELLO! HERMIONE! WHY ARE YOU WHISPERING!"

"Ron! Are you holding the phone upside down again!" Ron looked at the cellphone. It

_was_ upside down. He flipped it.

"Ron!" came Hermione's voice from the phone. "Where are you?"

"Who me? Oh, uh…at a grave yard…."

"What!"

"Well, you see…," and Ron began from the very, very beginning.

While he explains let's get back to Harry…and Voldy…

"Ha!" said Voldy after an hour and half. "Question 949!...dog breed? Uh…how…wha…what is a dog!"

Harry tried very hard, and he succeeded, not to laugh. Voldy scribbled something down, as Harry got up behind him to see what he wrote.

949. What is your favorite dog breed? _Yes… sandwiches are good... _

Harry couldn't help it…he burst out laughing. Voldy got up and walked over to the Lady, and handed her his application. She took a few minutes to read it.

"Well, Mr. Riddle your meeting with the Council of the Dead will be arranged shortly…I hope. And they looked forward to meeting you."

"And when will I know?" asked Voldy.

"Oh, you won't know. They'll just summon you and before you know it you will be there. Of course you could know without them knowing because the knowledge of knowing is all knowing."

Voldy looked at her like she was nuts then he said, "Oh…."

Voldy trudged back to where Harry was sitting. He sat down next him, and he heard a humming. It was familiar…like a cartoon…Disney cartoon…wait…_A Whole New World..._ ?

Well, Voldy had to agree. This was a whole new world. At least Harry wasn't singing the Barney song. Voldy regretted ever thinking that.

Ron was having more luck though…well what I mean by luck is—

"RON, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!" screamed Hermione's voice over the phone.

"HOW COULD YOU JUST PICK UP THE LOCKET LIKE THAT!"

"Uh, Hermione. I think I'll talk to you later…I'm getting another call. Bye. Bye." Ron abruptly hung up, and sighed. Great now what was he going to do? Go back to New York? Ron yawned and started to look for the locket. After a while he finally saw something shining next to a tombstone. He trudged to it and there he saw the locket lying on the grass looking anything but deadly.

He picked it up, and once again he felt that sensation...he was going back to New York. He would come back to get Harry's body later. When he opened his eyes he saw the sun just about to set. He pulled himself up and walked to the hotel to meet Hermione…he was so dead. Ah well...at least he'd get to see Harry...and Voldy...darn, why Voldy WHY! Why did they have to leave him at the mercy of Hermoine the Terrible!

Harry sighed as he walked back and forth. This was going to take a while…what could he do? He had been waiting for the past three hours trying to reach the council of the dead. If they weren't already dead, Harry would've killed them.

Voldy wasn't helping. He never helped. He kept on whining and doing everything else that would be considered annoying.

"Will you shut up for a minute? I'm trying to think!" said Harry

"Well that's new," said Voldy coldly.

"Shut up!"

"Will you stop? You've been screming at me for the past three hours!"

"I think you mean _screaming_?"

"Yes…screming."

"No, screaming."

"Screming?"

"Ai, no! Screaming!"

"That's what I said screming!"

"SCREAMNING! S-C-R-E-A-M-I-N-G!"

"…that's screming…right?"

"NO, IT'S SCREMING! I MEAN SCREAMING!"

"STOP SCREMING AT ME!"

WILL YOU TWO STOP SCREMING! I'M TRYING TO READ VANITY FAIR!"

The Lady screamed from behind a partition.

"Arrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Why me? Why is it always me?

Why?" moaned Harry.

"Look on the bright side at least you don't have dark hair, bright green eyes, and glasses! I mean you'd look like a toad!" said Voldy.

Harry looked up. "Okay first of all, YOU HAVE DARK HAIR. YOU HAVE NO ROOM WHATSOEVER TO TALK. Second of all, there is nothing wrong with bright eyes and glasses!"

"Well—" Voldy had no time to reply. Because one minute he was looking at Harry, the next minute he was at a dark cold place. Then something kicked him on the shins.

"Ow!"

"Oh," came Harry's voice. "I kicked you, thank God, I thought I kicked someone

important."

"You little mongrel!"

"Mongrel?"

I oughta—"

"Quite your bickering, let's just decide whether you are going to heaven or hell. We have 3:00 massages in 20 minutes!"

The lights went on. Then Harry and Voldy realized that they were standing the wrong

way. They gulped, and looked around to face the council of the dead.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys! Sorry I took so long to write this little but….but school started and…yeah, AP biology is not that easy…but anyways! Read, and enjoy! Oh, thanx again Toni!**

"Er…hi…hehe." What was Harry doing here?

"Don't 'hi' us, it's not gonna help you because guess what? You WILL go to heaven or hell! Got it? Heaven or hell! Haha! Heaven or hell!" Then he suddenly broke into a diabolical song, but it was undeniably catchy. "Heaven or hell! HAHA! Heaven or hell! HAHA! Heaven—"

"Um, I think they get our point, Mitchell," said another man.

"Ahem. Okay, Mr. Potter and Mr. Riddle…would you like to say anything before the counseling starts?"

"Uh…it was all his fault!" said Voldy pointing to Harry.

"Coward," Muttered Harry under his breath.

"Okay…Mr. Potter?"

Harry gave them a blank stare. "Well, I just want to know…can I come back to life?"

"Hmm…no."

"There is no way?" asked Harry, this time making his voice even more serious.

"Well…there is a possible way…but, explain to me. Why would we give it to you?"

"Well, so many people died to keep me alive. My parents, my godfather—"

"Would you like to meet them?"

"I—What?"

"Would, you, like, to, meet, your, parents, and godfather?" The man talked to him as if he was a 4-year-old.

"Uh, sure." Harry's heart was starting to beat faster by each second. Now, he definitely needed to call 9-1-1.

"Okay, then. You will have ten minutes to talk to them—"

"What? ten minutes? I will be meeting them after all these years, and all I get is ten minutes?! That's so economy! This is one of the biggest moments of my life...er...death...and all I get is ten minutes?!?" yelled Harry.

The man looked at him coldly. "Would you rather have five?"

Harry gulped. "Uh, no. Ten sounds fine. Ten is great! Have I ever told you ten is my favorite number…well, my favorite number is five...and 12, because twelve is the square root if 144, and 144 adds up to 9 and nine is an interesting number, mainly because it's the square root of...eh...a number…but ten is wonderful!"

The man looked at him with his eyebrows raised.

"That's...er...nice to know..."

"Yup, I love ten—ow!"

"That would mean shut up," whispered Voldy.

"Okay, now that we agreed on the time. Off you go!"

"Wha—?" What did he mean by 'off you go'? Go where?

But Harry didn't need an answer for that. He soon felt a weird sensation, like he was being sucked into a vacuum. He closed his eyes…_please don't let me die, please don't let me die…oh, wait I'm already dead…please don't let me die again, please don't let me die again...Wait, how can I die again if I'm already dead?...I'm confused...Hey a bunny! Such a cute bunny...wait a second…Crap! Focus!...Christ…talk about an adventure!_

When Harry opened his eyes, he found himself in a small gray room. He was sitting in a cold and hard chair. He desperately looked around to see where he was. He found a sign on a door that said "Encentro Sabitalle". What on Earth did that mean?...Wait, he wasn't on Earth anymore. What on Heaven did that mean? The room gave him an uneasy feeling…it felt like a jail.

"Wha? What is going on? Lily are you alright? Sirius? What the bloody—" The voice that was behind Harry stopped.

"Wait, that guy sitting on the chair has my hair!"

"Honey, calm down."

"Yeah, James. It's not like you're the only one with a bird nest on your head. Except the bird's nest is a bit gray now. And a little funny-shaped...no wait, that's just your head."

"Shut up. You know very well that my side of the family tends to get gray hair sooner than most people. And my head is a perfectly normal shape!"

"Psssh, yeah right!"

"Can both of you stop bickering!?"

"Well, it's not my fault this miserable git can't recognize his own son!" said Sirius.

"My own son?" James voice was quiet now. Then, with a whisper he said, "Harry?"

Harry couldn't believe it. After all these years he was finally going to meet the family he had been thriving for almost 17 years. Their first impression had been an interesting one.

Ron on the other hand was getting terribly troubled by Hermione the Terrible.

"But why do we have to go to the library?" he whined.

"Ron, I want to know everything thing there is about life after death!"

"But the only way you'll know is if you die!...And you better not die!"

"Oh, come on. What are the chances that there isn't an ounce to truth in all those books?"

"Would you really want me to answer that?"

"Shut up."

Voldy did not like this. He didn't like this one bit. He hated this.

"So, Mr. Riddle—"

"I didn't do it!!!!! You can't prove a thing!!" Voldy gave Mr. Mitchell a nervous look.

"Sorry, guilty consience. Carry on."

"I would like to talk to you about what you have done," said Mr. Mitchell, he started at him like he was a madman.

"Okay that was one. I stole the cookies from the cookie jar once!"

"Oh no, I—you DID WHAT?!"

"Oh, and I accidentally set your cloak on fire."

The next few minutes were pandemonium. Mr. Mitchell screamed and jumped, landing on the guy with a green and brown eye. He yelled and threw Mr. Mitchell, who started running around in circles screaming "Help! Help!" Then, a guy who had green skin took his shoe and started hitting it on Mr. Mitchells' butt, since that's where the fire was. But instead, the guy's shoe became on fire, and he threw the shoe to the guy who had red dots all over him. The red guy threw the shoe to another guy who threw it to another on and so forth. Pretty soon there was a circle that was throwing a burning shoe around with a mad man in the middle trying to blow the fire out by chasing his back.

"Uh…should I be doing something?" asked Voldy to himself. He thought…and thought…and he looked around the room…_Oh yeah! Now I remember! _

Voldy put his hand under his cloak and took out a lollipop. He slowly opened the wrapper and then…he put the lolly into his mouth.

He smiled and said, "Hmmmmm…cherry."

**Hehe…well, wutcha think? **


End file.
